What Should I Consider Investing In?

Because, the holidays are only a mere 10 or so weeks away what should I write away to Santa for?

(as a warning to the thousands of super invested readers out there – I will most likely request/recieve none of this)

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Useless Crap That You Missed Out On Buying

So today I took a look at the 25 Worst Business Failures in History and I have to say that I’m quite amused. This will be filed in completely useless because history has already put it there. Anyhow, #11 The Sharper Image Store really hit close to home for me. While I was never cool enough to own the in fact harmful air purifier or one of those really cool massaging chairs, I spent quite a lot of time there as a child. Because I grew up in the middle of a Suburban wasteland, back before I could drive, my day pretty much consisted of being dropped off at a mall with friends for about 8 or so hours. Somewhere in the middle we’d grow bored and just sit in the sharper image store.

But now where will my children waste time that could be used studying so they can engineer these products themselves? All of my future proteges have been robbed. Take a look at this glorious collage as I try to stop bawling.

And as a side note, #2 The DeLorean made me laugh out loud, which was quite embarrassing because I’m in public.  But ever since reading this, I think DeLoreans are hilarious…and of course I want one.

So beautiful and fuel efficient.

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So, cupcakes aren’t completely useless because they’re edible and I’m sure there’s at least a gram of protein or something in there (and they make people oh so happy).

I saw this picture the other day and I now all I want to do is make fun cupcakes. I’m in the process of talking some friends into making them with me so maybe an update on this soon…

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The Magic Bullet Pt. 2

Okay, so this post is a response to this blog post:


Not cool asshole! The magic bullet is a life saver.

“The Magic Bullet is a horrible product. I felt it was my obligation to make a post that will get internet hits to let other people know and not be fooled into buying The Magic Bullet, a sucky peice of crap machine. Everything on the Infomercial that the actors, which is poorly acted, do is 500x harder in real life.”

I disagree. All infomercials are crap, I do realize that. The magic bullet wont make someone who’s inept with a blender suddenly be a gourmet chef, but its pretty damn helpful. Also, the magic bullet cooked for three the last time I used it. Granted we made pasta sauce in it, and not the pasta. But come on, I think the author had a little bit too high of expectations for this $18 product. And, it goes above and beyond those $18, but you have to know how to use it and how not to be an idiot.

In conclusion, the magic bullet is still a godsend and this author is wrong.

Now enjoy these artistic photos of the magic bullets.

Posted in Necessary, Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Refrigerators (of the future) (sorry for all these –>())

I live in a sorority house. So due to an incredibly extensive insurance policy, I’m not allowed into our actual kitchen. Not cool, although I do enjoy the array of packaged food always out that requires no cooking or refrigeration (my next post may be filed under necessary and entitled ‘the lap band’). Anyhow, I’m thinking I should pimp out my room to make them (and I guess by them I mean ‘the man’ in the sorority world AKA really no one) jealous of my kitchen, and well because I want it and that explanation seemed like a good rationalization.  So, moving on…how cool is this?

A gel fridge, its so futuristic, it would go with my clock (well….no it wouldn’t, but whatever). My tea cup piglet would paw at it because he wouldn’t understand, and it would be adorable.

Also, if any of you click on the link to read more fridge one is also pretty damn cool. (In actuality they all are, but I figure I’ll only need like three for my room.)

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How To Look Like Kim Kardashian

You know how you always walk places at college and still manage to put on like 15 pounds a year (oh, is that not a universal thing…). Well, Oprah, Kendra Wilkinson, and Kim Kardashian have the cure for you- Reebok Easytone shoes!

Just wear these and exercise as you exercise (god, this seems both redundant and useless). You need to buy this and if you don’t drop five pounds immediately or suddenly look like Kim Kardashian sue Reebok.

Posted in Completely Useless | 1 Comment

This Week in Useless Products linked with Celebrities…

The Kiss Kasket

Seriously, Kiss? You’re putting your name on caskets now. Who needs this? I am going to fully admit that this one is useless. Although, to be fair, caskets are expensive so if you need a casket and you really love kiss, why not? However, when I die, please just stick to wood (0r cryogenically freeze me).

But back to the point, this is ridiculous. I completely understand putting a name or logo onto a shirt or pen (see: Annie Turner Fan Club Pen) or other useless memorabilia. But, this may be taking it too far. I wonder how much money they’re making off of this. I need to get famous so I can start putting my face on things and making money (to buy all this useless crap, of course).

Posted in Completely Useless | 3 Comments