Morphine Lips

Its the opportunity to have that feeling you get at the dentist when they numb you up at home…only free for the same price as your copay!

I tried this product a few days ago when my friend whipped it out at dinner. I was late so everyone else at the table was like “yeah, you should totally try this.” It was really really really weird. Seriously, your lips tingle then go numb. It lasts for like ten-ish minutes. At first I was like, “holy shit get it off” and now two days later I’m rethinking it. First off, I want a tube to carry with me so if someone asks to borrow chapstick, which is one of those things I waver between thinking its okay to share or not, I can hand it over without mentioning the side effect. God, I’m an asshole. I should consider renaming this blog “Necessary Crap for Douche Bags.” And, second of all, there really is no second of all. I cant really list anymore pros or features or whatever.

Although, I feel like maybe this could be useful if you had a split lip or something, but thats really the only rational I can think of. Still, in retrospect it was kind of cool.

Anyhow, if you want some $20 chapstick that will make you lose all feeling in your lips, you can check it out at

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