Pets for the Lazy

I’ve wanted an animal ever since I realized that humans could tame them and keep them as pets (think first grade era – My parents were shockingly good at keeping things off my radar). I’ve been begging for one for like twelve years, but now that I actually do have my own place, I do not have live in parents to clean up and walk the animal. It’s a sad life I lead without man’s best friend. Also, its a $250 fine per day if I have an animal in my apartment building and although I am stealthy, I do not have the paycheck to both risk a secret animal and continue to buy useless crap. So, the tea cup piglet and bald cat (don’t worry there will be a future post) will have to wait until I’m out of school.

Instead, I’ve been looking into ecospheres. I think they are soooooooooooo cool. They’re pretty, they’re alive, they’re self-sustaining, but thats about it. They literally do nothing. They don’t give me more oxygen and they wont play with me. I suppose I could take it for a walk, but I’d look crazy. Also, they are awkwardly expensive for glass spheres filled with crap I should be able to find in my own backyard (only I actually cant because here in suburbia we coat everything in cement).

I’ve been sitting with the page to buy them open on my laptop for like months now. (Does anyone else actually never turn their computer off?) Here’s my problem. The ones that come with frogs, you have to change the water twice a year – thats far too much of a commitment for me. And all the other ones require indirect sunlight. Thats actually it, just put it somewhere with a window and it will self sustain. However, because I’m in college, the singular window in my room faces the kitchen. That’s right. I cant even provide a living organism with sunlight. I truly suck at caring for living things.

If you have even a slightly greener thumb than I have and are interested in severely low maintenance pets/decorations here are a few to check out (don’t say I didn’t warn you about the prices):

Tiny Ecosphere 

Large Ecosphere

Ecosphere with Animals

This entry was posted in Completely Useless and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Pets for the Lazy

  1. Rachael says:

    I think the next useless thing you need is a tan. I smell blogpost!

    Also, you can do like you did with your cactus and give it to a friend forever.

    Keep updating. Such a fan.

  2. Pingback: Useless Crap You Don’t Need | Useless Crap You Need

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