It’s a Mini Bar. It’s a Desk……It’s a Safety Hazard!

There is really nothing i can say that will be any funnier than what has been said about this gem.

First off, this is the picture you see on Amazon.

Then, this is one of the many user uploaded photos. Clearly, this is a HUGE safety risk. I will admit, that it could be fairly useful, but it may also kill you.

Here are a few of my favorite reviews:

“Wow is this thing great! I use it as a “mini-bar” when the friends and I go out to the bars. I can quickly fix multiple shots of tequila for myself and the friends as we drive from one bar to the next. We also discovered that if you place a pillow on top of it and turn on the cruise control you can catch quick naps on the interstate. If you swerve to the left or right the rumble strips on the road wake you up in plenty of time before you get into trouble. I can now take longer trips without being tired!

Also, i am now dating a midget and she fits nicely on the steering wheel desk which allows us to experiment sexually while driving. This thing is like WD-40 or duct tape, it is a million and one uses!” – TM

” I loved my Laptop Steering Wheel Desk so much I got one for my 90yr old mother. She is an avid crossword puzzle fan and now she can work on them while she is driving back and forth from bingo at the senior center. One cautionary note be careful of those jerks that stop at yellow lights, my poor mother rear ended one and the airbag drove the desk back into her stomach which ruptured her spleen, well after a short down time I’m glad to say she is back on the road and cranking out those NY Times crosswords once again. Thanks Laptop Steering Wheel Desk you have made my mothers life more complete.” – S. Kelly

I know this one is long, but its worth it….

“Well at first I think my boyfriend hated the thing, but now he has grown so fond of this that we decided to keep giving it to all of our friends! When I get out of here I plan on telling my boyfriend how much this has brought our relationship together, I can’t wait to see him!

Pros –
1. Boyfriend says “It’s the perfect product” – My boyfriend is such a cheap ass he loves giving this as a gift. I think he’s trying to hint that he wants this as part of our wedding (in the future, hah!). He wants to hand them out at Christmas too, our friends already all have one, as I told him, but he keeps buying them for every Christmas anyways “oh honey we didn’t give it to so-and-so”. Whatever sweetie!

2. Increase in productivity – I was running late to work for the 100th time in a row because my boyfriend wouldn’t get in the shower when I asked him so I killed him with a shovel and a plastic spoon. Then after putting him in the trunk, I thought I would need to go back inside the house and get on my laptop to find a good quarry to bury…I mean to ride down to, but it turned out I could just find a good quarry while driving, using my 3G cellphone as a portable internet device for my laptop. Thanks laptop desk for helping me out of countless sticky situations!

3. Portability – I was worried at first when I got a bit of my boyfriends’ blood on the desk, but as it turns out I just cleaned all of the weapons right there in the car (while on my way to the quarry, I mean), and then after I finished taking a tour of the quarry, I just left the car there and took the desk with me. Perfect for leaving no evid…portability, I mean!

Cons –
1. The color – Although it has been a few weeks, the desk itself is still stained red. I wish I could get out the bloo–I mean coloring out. Maybe if the desk was already red, it wouldn’t be such a problem. Has led to some interesting conversations.

2. Should come with plastic gloves – I think in order for more people to get in on this really great deal, it should come with plastic gloves. That way, if you feel like offing someone, you will be able to touch the desk and leave very little trace evidence on it while handling the desk/laptop.” – Jillian Kimberlin

For more brilliance click here.

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2 Responses to It’s a Mini Bar. It’s a Desk……It’s a Safety Hazard!

  1. Rachael says:

    I cannot believe you categorized this as somewhat useless. This is completely useless, not to mention a death trap!

    Rob likes the idea, though…I showed it to him about 3 weeks ago…womp.

  2. jpwnoffke says:

    I totally support this steering wheel desk. The applications really are endless. I love it so much I had a second steering wheel installed on the passenger side – ridiculous!

    Seriously though, what retards we have in this nation of ours. I’m not mad at the people who produced this – if you can get money for something go for it – I’m mad at the damn baffoons that would actually shell out any cash for this piece of crap. May God have pity on their souls.

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